The true women that men don't understand

I commented once under this article that there are no words with which I can think to respond. Perhaps that was inaccurate; perhaps there were simply way too many words with which to respond to really compose a rational, readable, viable argument.

Brendan's article triggers so many emotions for me, and as the commentary clearly displays, from many other students on campus as well; a first reaction threatens to be more of an explosion than a reaction, and one which signifies nothing.

I, like Brendan, have written controversial articles for The Collegian before. Some of them I knew were controversial, some of them I did not; many students agreed with things I have said, but many did not.

Brendan is in an intimidating situation because it seems clear that he cannot fathom what he could have possibly said to have set so many people off at once.

I assume the reason for his failure to present the UR population - particularly the women, but the men he embarrassed and let down as well - with an apology is that he truly knows not, in the slightest, what he has done. After all, the obvious thing to do in his situation would be to apologize at this point from any rational perspective.

There are many arguments from which I can logically understand two oppositional perspectives. I feel better when I am able to do this, not only because it allows me to construct better arguments for the side I feel creeps closest to Truth, but also because it allows me to see the person arguing from that side as exactly that -- a person. Not a zealot or a bigot or any other host of unpleasant terms that rid arguers of their humanity, but a real living human being with good intentions and/or misguided understandings.

Brendan, I am struggling to do this for you. I am trying over and over again to see how it is possible that you really think that what you wrote is true, righteous, well-meaning or even barely acceptable, but I cannot.

I can see people flashing statistics, hurling emotions, and dishing out sentiments of dislike toward you, and I know that none of it is working -- although what you said is wrong, hurtful, and downright scary to both women and the men who love them, you truly do not see it, and all of the arguments against you are as lost as colors to a person born blind.

I cannot describe to you the lives that women share, or the ones that they don't. I cannot get you to listen to the problems on campus in the same way that I - and faculty, staff, administrative personnel, other students, and other alumni still -- cannot and could not get a surprising number of people to listen to or see them. It is always the same - the people that acknowledge these problems are the same ones that listen to the facts to begin with.

It is circular; people like you, who seem to have the strongest opinions about things they clearly do not understand, use these opinions to opt out of understanding.

Because I'm me, I have to give it one shot: The central problem to your argument, Brendan, on every level of ideology, proper writing and reporting, etc. is that you simply do not understand what the hell you are talking about.

Your argument makes absolutely no sense - it doesn't make sense to the people that opposed it, and frankly it does not make sense to the people who risked their social reputations to support you by trying to explain what you "meant."

But what DID you mean, Brendan? No one who knows about the subject you are talking about is sure. You're talking about women being the source of their own objectification, but let's be clear on something: THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR RAPE. There is no excuse for unwanted fondling, unwanted touching, unwanted physical contact of any kind. There is absolutely no excuse. Women should be able to walk around BUTT NAKED and know that you know all of this well.

Your ignorance is dangerous, Brendan, because it cultivates a very disturbing and inefficient, counterproductive culture of fear where it manifests itself. Your argument is age-old and well refuted by what you may call both sides of feminism - anti and pro.

No one thinks women are to blame for their own rapes, and when people are caught displaying these kinds of attitudes, they are embarrassed. It is a dead argument, one that has put many women in danger for centuries and centuries.

Let's bring it back to you. If you walk down the streets of Richmond wearing an expensive suit and someone mugs you, weren't you asking for it by flashing your wealth?

If you're walking down the street in a tank top that shows your muscles and a group of people beats you up, weren't you asking for it by flashing your strength?

A child molester could argue what you argued substituting "women" with "children" a gay man could substitute "women" for "men".

But the argument never works, Brendan, because at the end of the day, no one is an object - with their clothes off or on. Everyone is a human being and should be treated as such - male or female, naked or clothed. And other men already know this.

Consult an editor (and possibly a lawyer) before writing again for any kind of public forum.

P.S. When is someone at UR going to organize a "Slutwalk"