Top 5 Challenges of Downtown Partying

Despite being a nice respite from sweaty lodges and packed apartments, going out in the Fan or downtown Richmond still has its trials, most of which stem from the fact that it's the "real world," outside of the confines of our cozy collegiate playground.

Here are the top five challenges a downtown partier might face, and how to be prepared for them:

1 Cab drivers. You're bound to interact with the person driving you to and from your destination. Often, though, in your less-than-sober state, that person can start to look like your best friend/mother/guidance counselor.

Signs of inappropriate cab behavior include, but are not limited to: repeating the same "We seriously appreciate this, you're getting a tip, thank you so much," monologue over and over as the driver remains expressionless; screaming at the driver in a fiery rage for overcharging you or missing your stop (when, in fact, you're just not there yet); or bursting into tears when Coldplay's "Fix You" comes on the radio and launching into a diatribe about how the lyrics "just seriously define your life." If you feel any of these symptoms coming on, stick your head out the window. Immediately.

2 Ordering a drink. After years of consuming solely Natty Light and Peach Burnetts, ordering a real drink at a real bar can get complicated. Nobody wants to be caught in that moment when you have to order first (and can't pull the old "I'll have the same,") so you just say "Caribbean Delight," (because it's the first thing you saw on the menu) in a super casual, adult voice -- only to realize when it's halfway down your throat that the ingredients are half Jaegermeister, half Tabasco. It's best to memorize a few drink names and just add "on the rocks" or "with a twist" when you want to impress someone.

3 Money. From the cab to the drinks to the cover charges, going out downtown is expensive. If you're not careful, you could end up doling out a crisp hundy -- or more. To avoid eating Ramen for the next month, never let the words, "It's on me!" pass your lips (unless it's your birthday, another special occasion or you're just plain rich.) Also, be aware of what you're ordering. Maxing out your credit card on $12 rum-and-Cokes for the entire bar and six homeless people gathered outside probably isn't worth it. Unless it's a really nice group of people.

4 Being in a public place. The bars downtown are not the lodges or apartments. This means that they'll probably be filled with VCU students (ugh), adults, and even families -- so no, neither your neon American Apparel bodysuit nor your habit of spontaneously grinding with strangers is appropriate. If you don't think you can keep these tendencies reined in, it's probably best to stay home. (It's not okay to scream the lyrics to "Baby Don't Go" when the bartender walks away to take someone else's order, either. Yes, even if he smiled at you.)

5 Being far away if you want to leave. This is perhaps one of the biggest challenges of all. When you want to leave, it's not as easy as stumbling back to your apartment to fall asleep in a mound of Jimmy Johns. Getting home from downtown requires a cab -- which, if you don't want to pay the full price, requires friends to come with you. If you can't force yourself to stay out one more minute, and if absolutely nobody will come with you, you can always hitch a free ride with a stranger -- only if he has candy (or Jimmy Johns) in his unmarked van, though.