A poem: 'Twas the day after Pig Roast

'Twas the day after Pig Roast, and all through our school, not a Spider was stirring, as a general rule.

Champagne bottles strewn 'cross each dorm room alike, helped nurse up a fall from a tricky Green Bike.

The students were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of frattiness danced in their heads.

Still dressed in their pearls or in a backwards cap, each Spider passed out for an afternoon nap.

Last morning outside there'd been such a clatter, of kids on the move, to see what was the matter.

Away to the windows we flew like a flash, and threw open the blinds, for 'twas Pig Roast at last!

The happiest day to occur campus-wide, day-drinking and lodges bring such Spider pride.

Look! What to our wondering eyes does appear? A big group of friends and ten cases of beer!

Now time to eat breakfast, so lively and quick, then choose wisely your outfit, your preppiest pick.

Seersucker and madras and Lilly galore, grab phone, keys and Ray-Bans, now rush out the door!

Now Sig Ep! Now KA! Kappa Sig and Fiji! Lambda Chi! Theta Chi! Sig Chi and SAE!

Go to the lodges. Go to them all! With blackouts and makeouts and maybe a fall.

Playing pong like a champ, so wild and free, then interpretive dancing to "Call Me Maybe."

Now look for your bestie you left who knows where (Side note: Why were so many old people there?)

It's time for some lunch, run outside quick, grab a plate full of pig that's piled up thick.

Barbeque heaven, what this day's for. A nice little break, then lodges some more.

Booming forth from each building you hear "Wagon Wheel."

Drowned out by the ringing sound of a squeal, of two girls meeting and taking a pic.

That hug's more like a chokehold...try not to get sick.

The noon sun is high, you've had quite a few shots,

Now returning to bed is your primary thought.

In a mass exodus you hear quite a boast

But all on your mind is the nap that's post-Roast.

Fast forward to evening, drunk D-Hall is calling

Climb out of your bed at a pace that's near crawling

Start the trek over, you keep getting passed

Eat meatballs in slo-mo, why's the world move so fast?!

But hey! Time to rally, there's more to be done

The Bottom and Back Bus brings you to great fun.

More dancing, more singing, and many more drinks

"So Pig Roast! So college!" So everyone thinks.

Now climb back in bed, once more for the night

Ugh, next you're awoken by cruel morning light.

A massive hangover is everyone's fate

But a small price to pay for the best Roast to date.

Hang on to those memories like your cup of cheap beer

For our sacred Pig Roast comes but once a year.

You had a great time and that was your mission

Til next year, Pig Roast, our favorite tradition!