Senior social: tearing it up in your toga

What kind of night has the potential for nip slips, reckless hookups, crouching over Porta Potty seats and stab wounds? That's right, you guessed it, the toga social!

Since the first time I watched Animal House, it has seemed to me that no authentic college experience is complete without the time-honored tradition of the makeshift toga.

Since I'm kind of quirky and spend much of my college time frumping, thank god I was able to take a step toward a normal college career this weekend at the senior toga social.

I wouldn't say that the diet or tanning schedule that went into the toga social was as extreme as that of Ring Dance, but like any event where the potential for a new Facebook profile picture to arise is high, there was some groundwork that had to be put in place to ensure a successful and stylish evening with minimal tot exposure and maximum picture success.

Since the social was on Thursday, by Monday we were brainstorming toga color potentials, and by Tuesday I had purchased my three and a half yards of shiny red fabric and gold roping (with what I considered some heavy judgment from the Jo-Ann fabric lady for my trollop-like color choice).

By Wednesday I was standing naked in front of a stranger as she sprayed me down with fake tanner and told me that I need not worry about finding a man before the age of 30, and by Thursday I was experiencing my sheer joy of helping my apartmentmate safety pin her toga to her panties as a very wise precaution to ensure her downstairs privacy in the likely event of a rogue toga incident.

Nothing says "bonding" like helping wrap your best friends up in cheap fabric as they stand there in their strapless bras and undies completely flabbergasted as to how we can ever put this crap together and wondering why on earth we hadn't practiced this terrible task before we started drinking.

Tears were shed, blood was spilled and plenty of sweating was done as we pinned, tied, cut and twisted plain fabric into four very stylish and shockingly functional togas.

I even wore mine with matching red high top Converses in the event that I needed to make a quick escape from the Greek theatre...very rarely am I a logical individual, but when comes to wearing a toga in public, all things have to be considered, especially rapid getaways or the spontaneous and overwhelming desire to take a light jog.

Needless to say, we made it to the event just in time to buy our beer tickets, enjoy seeing the rest of our friends in lovely looking togas and pose for a few (dozen) pictures, half of which had to be de-tagged the next morning.

I'd say that the toga social was a great success and after recalling the number of phenomenally chiseled male pecs and upper bodies I had the pleasure of seeing Thursday night, I wouldn't mind emulating the Greeks more often.