Campus is bumpin' this year

Say it's a sunny Friday afternoon, you just finished classes and you're free for the weekend. Say you and your friends decide to go to Short Pump to do some shopping and grab dinner before you go out.

Say you're driving down UR Drive, "Like a G6" is blaring on the radio and everyone is doing their individual renditions of a cute car dance.

Say you drive past a group of boys, and BAMMMM, you hit a speed bump and look like a total loser.

Say this happens about seven times on your way off campus and that the speed bumps consistently salt your game, run the risk of ruining your car and are perhaps one of the most obnoxious obstacles standing in the way of you and Friday afternoon freedom ... just say ...

I can't even tell you how many times I've experienced the mellow-harshing reality of consecutive speed bumps on the way out of campus.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for safety, and am a firm follower of the speed limits around campus, but does anyone else agree with me when I say that the University of Richmond went speed bump overboard this year? I feel as if there might be better safety precautions in which Richmond could invest.

Perhaps a bike lane would have been a nice addition or another parking lot where you could park before 5 p.m. and not get ticketed by the crazy ticketer men who seem to sense the exact time and place that you are going to park on the Friday morning when you're late, hung over and really not in the mood to walk to class with the small army of midgets stomping on your brain.

Yet, not only did they choose speed bumps as the new addition, they also chose to invest in flashing signs to warn you about the speed bumps.

It probably would have been cheaper and significantly less time-consuming to raise the speed limit by 10 mph, change the speed limit signs and forget about the new speed bumps!

OK, well maybe that's not the best suggestion considering the importance of driver and pedestrian safety, but the new speed bumps are absurdly frustrating, and they only seem to slow drivers down for about .25 seconds until they are over them and getting gas pedal-happy again.

They are a literal and figurative pain in the butt. I've been on rollercoasters with less lurching than UR Drive. Speed bumps, humps and lumps are taking over our campus this year.

Good luck to all those operating cars, bikes, golf carts, and worst of all, the Raper (I'm sure it cannot be pleasant to ride around all night with loud, drunk girls and I can only assume that speed bumps add to the obnoxiousness of the evening).

Speed bumps, like everything, have their pros and cons. On the upside, they remind you to slow down and mind the speed limit, but on the downside, they remind you to do so every five seconds.