Who, what, when, where & how are you? Racial identity issues at UR

I have a friend on this campus ...

Who was told by an on-campus psychiatrist that she was an irresponsible [black] woman because she had gone to the hospital.

Who was told she wouldn't be able to deal with UR's workload because she was Latina.

Who was asked by a staff member why she didn't get to know more of the black men on campus, upon hearing that she was in a relationship with an Asian guy.

Who was in a dining situation and a comment was made to the group about the lack of diversity on the sides of the tables. The person said, "Why is it that all the black people are on one side of the table and all the --" she paused "--people of lighter melanin are on the other? I just say this because I'm trained to think about diversity." Yet sitting on the "white" side was a Latina girl; take away from her identity much?

Who is white and was asked how her "black boyfriend" was. She had never told her friend about him; someone else did for her.

Who tried to kill herself because she was both a minority and bipolar. Nobody understood or cared. Didn't you know? Only white people get mental illnesses ... BS.

Who was the head of a multicultural group and said that he/she didn't trust churches where the "races mixed."

Who is told on a regular basis that she tries to disown her blackness by dating lighter guys, though not necessarily white.

Who is told that she isn't white enough by her white friends, that she must be mixed by her black friends, and that she's a "good" white person by her other assorted friends.

Who claims that she only gets waves or hellos from black people on this campus when she's with someone black, but she's Latina.

Who had a black professor who told three different Dominican students on the first day that their country was the most racist country in the world because they denied their black roots. She continued to say that they were Afro-Caribbean, NOT Latin American.

Here's what those students heard: My identity is somehow wrong, is that possible? Here's what one of them responded with: "Actually, our culture is so diverse, it's not that we deny our roots, it's that we embrace the mixed heritage that we all have as one Dominican nation that is part of Latin America, which is also quite diverse."

Who is told on a regular basis that she is not black enough.

Who is black and was told that, because she's not friends with enough black people on this campus, her experience as a black person is invalidated. She can't state her opinion on a matter; it won't count.

Who has been harassed by boys in D-Hall, the Commons, outside the Commons and in her own car, all in regards to the attributes that make her "less of a white person."

Who is multiracial, and every black person assumes she's "one of them." She's not, and she gets annoyed by it.

Who has been told by a black girl that only white people kill for stupid reasons and black people only kill to protect their reputations.

Who was told by a black girl that he was really "doing big things" because he was in a predominantly white UR organization instead of the black one that he could have chosen to join.

Who transferred from UR because she was the only Jew here. But wait, she's white? Bullshit.

Who hates being called black because she's really Jamaican.

Who has been told that she can't have an eating disorder because she's black.

Who was told that he was not Asian enough, just too white.

Who has been told that he can't be gay because he's black.

Who has overheard someone say that this one mixed guy on campus doesn't know he's black because he never waves at any of the black people on campus.

Who said that she feels obligated to like/love every black person on campus because she's black, even though she hates at least half of them.

I have friends who don't always fit their racial stereotypes and everyone around them tells them who to be and what to do. Not everything is black and white. There are all sorts of shades in between.