Pig Roast 2010 Timeline

8 a.m. - Find pastels; place them on your body.

8:30 a.m. - Splatter said pastels with champagne and orange juice. Add some Natty.

9 a.m. - Drink secretively in the apartments.

10:30 a.m. - Forget how to drink secretively. Begin blatant beer guzzling on lawn.

11:30 a.m. - Fade back into consciousness, realize your head is in a plate of scrambled eggs at D-hall.

12:30 p.m. - Let your beer-dar guide you to the lodges.

1 p.m. - Arrive at lodges. Dance like no one's watching.

1:30 p.m. - Realize everyone is watchin.

2-4 p.m. - Blur of sundresses, beer showers and pulled pork sandwiches.

4:15 p.m. - Realize to your delight that you are making out with Afroman, regardless of your gender.

5 p.m. - Teleport to your room.

5:15 p.m. - Booty call a nap-buddy. Make blood pact that you will both wake up and rally.

8 p.m. - Wake up. Feel like death. Screw rallying.