Letters to the Editor: Responses to "Too thin" column

Editor's note: The following two letters are anonymous. The Collegian's policy is not to publish anonymous opinion submissions except in extenuating circumstances. I granted these writers' requests for anonymity because few people were aware of the extent of their conditions.

Dear Kiara Lee,

I don't know you, but apparently you know me — by your definition, I'm "Skin-and-Bones" or "skinny bitch." I'd just like to clear up a few things, because for someone supposedly so familiar with me, your article displays an astonishing amount of ignorance about the issue that has led me, and so many others, to starve ourselves, throw up our food, and, much to your annoyance, complain about our weights.

I've struggled with eating issues for more than four years. You're right: I've never had a doctor tell me I won't live past 40 if I don't shed a substantial amount of weight. But I have had doctors warn me about malnutrition, osteoporosis and infertility; about internal organ damage, anemia and heart problems. I've been threatened with an early death, too. Now, I am no M.D., but I'd say those health risks are pretty serious, wouldn't you? Maybe if I goad my friends into "kissing my ass" enough, though, I'll muster the desire to overcome my problems — at least by your logic.

That's the problem with your take on "Skin-and-Bones." You've reduced the trials of a serious disorder to whining about the size of one's thighs in leggings. Sure, there are girls who complain about their appearances purely to fish for compliments. But for those of us whose complaints reflect a serious disorder rather than pure vanity, it's repugnant to see such comments attributed to "enjoy[ing] hearing yourself talk." And something tells me that if your friend is eating lettuce for dinner, she doesn't fall on the attention-whore end of the spectrum. Just a hunch.

Anyway, I'm glad you're happy with yourself. Congratulations — truly. I hope to be one day, too. In the meantime, I am lucky to have the support of friends sensitive enough to understand that any disparaging remarks I make about myself are not in efforts to attract ass-kissing, and that I sincerely don't mean to make them uncomfortable. I'm grateful they are well-informed enough to respond patiently instead of gritting their teeth and mentally retorting with, "Shut up, skinny bitch."

I'm glad they are aware of the health risks associated with my eating issues and don't suggest I need to get a clue about "real" weight problems — both extremes are dangerous. I'm thankful they understand how important it is for them to put up with my comments for the time being, so that maybe some day I'll be able to join you at the D-Hall dessert bar. But thanks for the "reality check."

Sincerely,

"Skinny Bitch"

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"Do you realize how many people are indeed obese, and whose lives depend on their losing weight?"

Of course we do. But that has absolutely no bearing on what WE see, those of us who actually have eating disorders. It is for this comment in particular that I consider Kiara Lee's opinion article to be based on ignorance.

It's like telling struggling friends that their lives aren't bad; after all, there are people starving in Asia, Africa and [place comparative anecdote here]. Right? Not only is her article devoid of empathy, but it is also rather disrespectful to people who grapple with body image and self-esteem. For some of us, our weight IS a life or death crisis even if we aren't 400 pounds.

And you know what? Some of us feel as heavy-hearted as that 400-pound sufferer; it doesn't give you license to judge us. In fact, I WAS Miss Skin-and-Bones. And even though I'm now far from Lee's image of women with eating disorders, I still have one.

When I stopped asking if I was pretty, or if I needed to lose weight, it wasn't because I finally got the picture and saw reality, as Lee claims. It was because of people like her, who consciously chose to silence me rather than try to find out why I kept making comments.

That her article has since jumped to at least the fourth-most read on The Collegian Web site is, therefore, worrisome. I wonder, how many people agree with her - who may now turn to a friend with an eating disorder and shut them up, as well? Lee and her proponents claim that it is "just an opinion," but when placed in a public place with a position of influence — not all of us can be editors for a newspaper, Lee — an opinion can turn into many other people's opinions. In this instance, the publicized opinion is ignorant, counterproductive and detrimental.

If you are a public writer, you are a kind of "mouth of the community." You feed it your ideas, and your voice is heard in the outside world as representative of the community within - this is the reality of your position, and you ought not take it if you disagree. But if ideas published in articles such as Lee's continue to shape the community's image of eating disorders, many women - such as myself - will continue to slip beneath the radar, undetected by everyone repeating, "Shut up, skinny bitch," in their minds like a mantra.

Instead of starving the community of what it desperately needs, Lee, why not take a healthier approach and give us a more informed opinion to digest? However much pride you may possibly take up in being an irritant - or a martyr, seeing as you've defended your right to be ignorant of reality more than once - such a poorly produced article isn't conducive to fostering community nor productive discussion. A steady diet of hot peppers will only give you ulcers.

Lee, unless you know what it's like to have your body's appearance take control of every aspect of your life, I suggest you abstain from articles on eating disorders until you do your research. If you were trying to reach out to Miss Skin-and-Bones in an attempt to save her, you failed miserably. Because in case you didn't notice, she may not always look like a skinny bitch.