From Marvin Gay to "Birthday Sex": the evolution of love

Love. What does it really mean? The word is tossed to and fro like a baseball on a little-league field. It is used openly on Facebook posts, in text messages and during drunken times at parties. The concept of love is used so loosely during our day and age that I think it has lost its luster. The word love, in my eyes, used to carry enough punch to knock out Mike Tyson in a street fight. But now the word love can only tickle Tyson behind his ears.

The concept of love is used in vain nowadays. Our society today is getting the word love confused with like and lust, which could explain how the divorce rate is up to 50 percent, but that isn't what this article is about.

Let us first examine the popular music being produced today. We rarely find love in our music. How many of the songs in the Billboard Top 100 are about love? Where has love gone? I can remember summers at my grandma's house when she would play golden oldies on her record player. Songs such as "If Lovin' You Is Wrong, I Don't Want To Be Right" by Luther Ingram, "If You Don't Know Me By Now" by Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes and "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green. These songs were songs of passion and affection.

These songs were deeper than just trying to get into someone's pants; they were about commitment and reliability. These songs were not just about trying to make someone else's bed rock or proving sexual ability. They tapped into a deeper meaning of love that has been lost in translation from one generation to the next.

I hate to beat a dead horse because I know Liz Monahan wrote about this a few weeks ago, but what bothers me is that our generation is quick to claim to love someone after a few months or even just a few weeks, but in the same breath will drop you like a bad habit if a problem arises.

To say you love someone means you are willing to sacrifice anything to make him or her happy. To say you love someone means you are more than willing to put his or her interests ahead of yours. To say that you love someone entails loving him or her unconditionally, no matter what happens. When you tell people you love them, do you really take all of that into consideration?

You are probably thinking to yourself, "Duh, I already know this." But how many of us actually put this into action? How many of us actually hold the people who say they love us accountable for their actions? How many of you have heard, "If you love me, you would do this for me?" If you have heard this line before from someone, please hear me out.

If someone you consider a significant other asks you to do anything for him or her in the name of love, he or she does not understand what love is. You know why? Because if you loved him or her the way he or she loved you, he or she would never have to ask that type of question because you would be more than willing to help him or her out any way you could.

Be wary of those who are quick to claim they love you. Judge their actions. Love is an action that should be carried out on a daily basis. Do not allow anyone to feed you lip service of how much they love you if they aren't willing to sacrifice anything for you. Love is an open two-way street, whether it is between friends or lovers. The concept stays the same.

I want you to take away three things. One, think twice before you throw out "I love you." If you are willing to use the phrase, then own up to it and act accordingly. Second, if someone claims he or she loves you, hold him or her accountable. Make sure he or she is in your life to help your growth, not hinder or stunt it.

Last, if someone tells you he or she loves you, and you feel uncomfortable or do not feel the same, tell him or her the truth. Stop being afraid of hurting people when telling them how YOU feel. If he or she is truly a friend or someone who cares, he or she will understand where you are coming from because no one wants to be around anyone who is faking it.