A voice of reason: guide to campus etiquette II

D-Hall, n. - the place where we all eat, unless you're at the Pier. Frequently, it's crowded at popular meal times such as noon and 6 p.m. The workers swiping cards are sometimes friendly, but sometimes grumpy from years of doing the same thing. The food is pretty good, but tiring after four years. The meatballs are fabulous and the company is great, assuming you like your friends.

The etiquette could be better. D-Hall isn't a meal with the Queen, but it's not pizza and beer in front of the TV. Here are three tips for an eater-friendly experience.

No. 1 - No spilling on the counter. Sometimes it happens by accident, but it's usually because we're lazy. Near the tacos you are chatting with a buddy about the benefits of beef versus chicken, and, oops, a big blob of salsa lands on the counter. Oops, it's now on the bottom of 15 peoples' trays, and the D-Hall workers have to wipe up mashed salsa again.

Or you're getting cereal but you're in such a hurry because your day is so full of homework and meetings that suddenly, oops, there are Reese's Puffs scattered across the counter and the floor. Oops, now there are Reese's Puffs crushed under all of our feet and trays.

And lastly - drink spillage. Stop spilling drinks and ice on the counter. Who would ever imagine that University of Richmond students would find it so difficult to get all the ice and all the liquid inside their cups, especially after D-Hall workers have conveniently installed a note that says, "Place cup here."

Accidents happen and even the best of us spill on occasion, but let's save the water it takes to clean our messes and maybe we can use it to wash our trays on Friday instead.

No. 2 - No PDA. This shouldn't take much explaining - people are trying to eat. This isn't a frequent problem, but it is a big one. If you've ever witnessed it, you know why it's on the list.

College should be a place where you can expand your boundaries, test the limits, broaden your comfort zone, etc., but not like that. As was once said by a wise magazine editor in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," "You're free to go where the wind blows you ... [but] the wind isn't going to blow you there."

If the college winds are blowing you toward PDA, save it. Get out of D-Hall so the rest of us can munch our meals in peace.

No. 3 - Have some respect when you're stealing chairs. Now that all of our friends are back from abroad, joining us and the enormous freshman class, it's no surprise that we sometimes develop a chair shortage in D-Hall. But let's use some consideration when searching for extra chairs.

If there were a cookie shortage, you wouldn't take the cookie right off of someone's plate without asking, so don't steal the chair from right next to someone without asking.

On the flip side, no one likes to be chair-less and no one likes to eat in the far corners of D-Hall (unless that's where you normally like to eat). Don't hog the chairs with your bags and coats, and don't glare at people when they approach your table.

I'm not sure karma is all it's cracked up to be, but if you are a chair hog, it's going to come back and bite you.