Living European: A recipe for American success

Ever wonder why Europeans think Americans are money-obsessed, snobby and uptight? Well, I think I have finally cracked the case. It's because we are.

"Calm down," you are probably thinking. "Here goes another opinion article complaining about something." But let me put something into perspective. Yes, the United States is the most powerful, most advanced and, some may argue, the most driven country in the world. But when broken down into smaller communities, like, say, Richmond, we are light-years away from Europe.

My main concern regards what so many Richmond students worry about - exams, classes and grades - all because they lead to the dreaded real world, the afterlife, the underworld, the time in which we can no longer pour beers on a friend's head and laugh about it. Oh no, after graduation, everything that we got away with in college gets soaked up into one huge fun sponge. Everyone, at least most students at Richmond, constantly worries about the next step.

I once was studying in Boatwright at 6 a.m. after pulling an all-nighter. After two Red Bulls, two espressos and one large asiago cheese bagel from 8:15 at Boatwright, I started to freak out. Maybe it was the absurd amount of caffeine in my system. Maybe it was my regret of leaving the paper to the last minute or maybe it was the stress that I would fail the class. Failing would bring down my GPA, and I would graduate without a job in a rough economy, with no place to live. I would become homeless and have to beg for food on the streets, all because of this paper. That's when I knew I had become crazy.

My father is an accountant in Boston. He thinks, as his father did, that upon graduating from college, a person must find his or her own way, without the financial stability of his or her parents. In simpler words - I'm getting cut off. Completely. And if that means I will struggle for a while, then so be it. I will "learn," right?

The thought of this used to scare me terribly. I wondered how my life could ever be sufficient without a good, steady flow of money to keep me comfortable, especially if I graduated without a good enough GPA to secure me a good job with a steady paycheck. Then I came to Spain.

My friends in Spain, as I stated during my last article, are from all parts of the world. They hail from New Zealand to the Netherlands, and from Mongolia to Munich. Though we grew up in different cultures, believe in different gods and wear very different clothing, we all seem to be very similar. We dance together at the discotecas, bask in the sun on the beaches and laugh at each other's jokes. But what I have found to be a huge difference between the Americans and the students from the rest of the world involves one thing: pressure. We feel as though we are under constant pressure to do well, to be successful, to ace that exam and to graduate with honors because then we would have done it all. To European students, that is nothing. To them, traveling the world, being exposed to another culture, eating rare foods, meeting new people and gaining life experiences are things that strengthen a resume much more than an internship will.

I sat down for dinner with a good friend from Holland last night. As she made a typical Dutch meal, I began to ask her what college was like for her back home in Rotterdam. "Simple," she said. "We go to high school, and if we are smart, we go to college. If we are dumb, we don't. There is no stress on finances or anything, though, because we live at home and attend classes." Oh, another thing, all of her classes are free. She seemed stunned when I told her that tuition for one year at my college was about 30,000 Euros. SAT scores, college essays, extracurricular activities, interviews and resumes do not matter there. Administrators at Rotterdam Business School could not care less about the fact that Juliette loved to travel or that she worked as a model in Amsterdam Fashion Week. They let her in because she did what she needed to do in high school to get by to get there.

Another friend here in San Sebastian, who was born and raised in the Basque region of Spain, is 27 years old and lives with his father. Upon learning this, I immediately thought he had no job and no degree. He has both. "Our parents always support us until the age of 26 or 28," he said. "I think with the American system, people mature faster than they should because there is no one to take care of them. Here there is no pressure. Here, it is laid-back."

I had never thought about it before. Are we forced to be people we are not quite ready to become? Is our society so focused on success that we have overwhelmingly disregarded other aspects of life? After living here in Spain for two and a half months, I have learned to become just a little laid-back. I walk a bit slower. I sit down at cafes instead of asking for a to-go cup. I take deep breaths and long walks. But upon returning to Richmond, it will be back to my old ways, I am sure. I just hope I can challenge myself, and you, to live a life that's a little more carefree.