Let's talk about sex, baby: Captain Awkward

Dear Sally,

My life is a big ball of awkward. I feel like every time I go out on the weekend, something bizarre/embarrassing/outrageous happens to me and then Monday morning, lo and behold, I run into every awk-witness on campus. Should I just never leave my dorm again?

- AWOL-or-Awk

Dear AWOL,

I hear ya. Such is our lot for attending a tiny school where nearly everyone lives/parties/lurks on campus. Luckily, you have options ... a whole whopping two of them. Option 1: Reassess what the heck you are doing on the weekend that is getting you into such strange situations. If you feel as if you're not in control of what happens on the weekend, maybe you should take it a bit easier (i.e. stop being such a drunken fool.) Option 2 (my fave): Take back the awk and make it yours! When it comes down to it, a situation will only feel awkward if you make it awkward, so resolve to just not give a crap. Everyone is so preoccupied with running around obsessing about how awkward everyone and every situation is that they can't sit back and just let others think what they will. Try replacing the word "awkward" with "hilarious" in your vocabulary, and you'll soon be dying of laughter instead of ducking in corners. Remember, adventures are only fun if you can handle the consequences, so navigate your weekends with care!

Love,

Sally

Inept at getting action or unsure about STDs? E-mail Sally anonymously at sallysexpert@gmail.com.