Confessions of an invisible student of color

Published: April 9, 2009, 7:09 pm ET
Westhampton College '11

“I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. … That invisibility to which I refer occurs because of a peculiar disposition of the eyes of those with whom I come in contact.” — Ralph Ellison,“Invisible Man”

When you look in my direction, do you see me, or am I invisible to you? You may not acknowledge me when you fundraise in the Tyler Haynes Commons, sit with me in “that section” of the dining hall or go to “those parties” in the Pier on Saturday nights, but regardless, I am here, and so are many more like me.  I am a student of color at the University of Richmond.

Many times I’ve wondered whether I’m actually visible to some white students here.  Among the most salient was a study abroad information session in which a white student compared her experiences at the University of Richmond and abroad by matter-of-factly stating: “So obviously, we’re all white at U of R, and it’s not the same when you go to Senegal …”

Yet, we weren’t “so obviously white,” as this student declared. In the crowd sat American students of Asian, African-American and Latino descent, along with others who were born and raised abroad. But somehow we were not seen, and only the white students in the crowd were acknowledged as full members of the student community.   

A similar situation occurred during a class discussion, when a different white student said: “All of my friends are white. I didn’t choose for it to be like that; it just happened that way but there’s not really any diversity at Richmond anyway.”

Friendships don’t “just happen.” Whether consciously or unconsciously, white students and students of color freely and selectively choose whom they establish friendships with, thus our groups of friends consist of certain types of people because we’ve chosen to make them our friends.

The student in the above scenario attempted to justify the racial homogeneity of her group of friends by claiming that our university’s lack of diversity prevented her from having multicultural friends.

Although I — and the Strategic Plan — agree that Richmond needs to increase its population of underrepresented minorities, I want to acknowledge that we do have some students of color at Richmond. Thus, any people who want to get to know someone who is racially or ethnically different than they are, have the opportunity to do so.  

In sharing some instances when I’ve felt invisible on this campus, I am hoping to make a greater point about choice. We make choices every day of our lives about whom to acknowledge, befriend or engage in conversation — choices that shape the social world we inhabit.

I ask that you break out of your comfort zone and get to know students of color on this campus. Furthermore, I ask that you reach out to others across marginalized groups, including students who are multicultural American, international, handicapped, LGBT and religious minorities.

If you don’t reach out to the students in these groups, understand that your inaction also represents a choice.  You have chosen to isolate yourself from others who may have different concerns, desires and outlooks than your own — and ultimately you have stinted your personal growth.

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  • Jun

    I agree with what Ashley suggested that we should break out of our comfort zone, and I think this suggestion applies both for the white students and the students of color. However, as I student of color, I can personally test how difficult it is to take the initiatives to make friends with people who are not similar to me. It is kind of a human nature to stay with people who you have something in common with. Anyway, I am trying to be more open and acceptable, and I do encourage my friends to do the same.

    Thanks Ashley, it is a great article.

  • megan

    You’re not invisible. You’re intimidating. I can’t remember the last time a minority student reach out to ME. Minority groups mirror any other clique on campus. They are hard to penetrate. I’ve tried to sit at a table of minority section at d-hall and I felt unwanted. I’ve tried to continue friendships from freshman year with minority students and it’s like I’m the only one interested. I’ve tried to get invited to events put on by “multicultural” organizations and I’ve yet to get that invite. Have you noticed the multicultural movement on campus reaches out to minorities almost exclusively? Reach out to EVERYONE. A multicultural movement does nothing if the majority white population isn’t invited to the conversation or the activities and events. I just don’t feel wanted by the minority community sometimes.

  • Laura Schillinger

    Megan, I’m sorry that you feel this way, but please don’t tell someone how they feel or who they are. If Ashley feels invisible sometimes don’t tell her that she’s not and don’t tell her that she’s intimidating because I personally know this is just not true. I understand that maybe sometimes minorities may feel cliquey, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t want to include you. As far as events go, as a white student I personally have never had any problem attending multicultural events and I know that invites are sent out to many students, not just minority students. I understand that maybe you feel uncomfortable placing yourself in a minority situation by attending such an event, but think about all the cool people you are missing out on meeting if you don’t attend. The more you show up to events, the more you’ll be invited. By giving up you are simply saying that you aren’t interested.

  • http://www.soulforce.org/index.php Katelin French

    Well said, Laura. As a white person, I feel the burden should be on me to reach out. I live in a country that makes it easy to live in my skin,– I have the privilege to choose whether or not I want to interact with those that are different from me. I can use that privilege to become okay with taking on the extra risk to begin to reconcile misunderstanding.

    I would not, however, recommend just sitting down at a random table of strangers…you wouldn’t try this with any other group. Try joining an organization and then becoming friends with people. Then sit with your new friends in D-hall so that it doesn’t seem as abrupt. I might suggest coming to the Umoja concert tomorrow (7:00 NCRR). The event has been advertised to all students and it is a great place to start in meeting friendly, welcoming people who would be glad to share a meal with you.

  • Claire Ligon

    I agree with both Katelin and Laura and I want to add one thing. Not only do you need to realize that you’re missing out on meeting some wonderful people but also your discomfort is expected and not nearly as great as the discomfort other students may feel when they’re always in the minority. Thanks to our culture you rarely feel uncomfortable in your skin, as Katelin pointed out. Understand that fact and realize that life isn’t as easy for everyone else. I’m not saying give up though, just recognize this and embrace it. I challenge you to put yourself in situations where you feel uncomfortable and learn something from it. I joined Asian Beat my sophomore year of college, I didn’t know one person but I wanted to dance and meet new people. Being the only white student, It was different and maybe uncomfortable for a week or two, but I didn’t care. I knew that it would take time but I have formed the most amazing bonds with the members of AB and I would do it all again if I were given the chance. GO ASIAN BEAT!

    Also I need to reiterate what Laura said, please do not nullify her statements by saying that you feel she’s not invisible. You’re essentially telling her that her experiences and feelings on this campus are unfounded because you’re experiences on this campus from the white perspective are more important. Reread the article and tell me that you wouldn’t have felt invisible if those things had happened to you.

    p.s. there’s no way Ashley Miles is intimidating. She’s a sweetheart!

  • Andrea Hague

    I wholeheartedly agree with Laura and Katelin. Yes, it can be intimidating to interact with people from different cultures (for both groups involved!). And sometimes interacting with people from other backgrounds than my own confronts me with things about myself or my own background that I might rather ignore. Or I have to endure an awkward moment, like when I say something dumb unthinkingly and it offends people, or I don’t know that movie everyone’s talking about, or I don’t get a joke that everyone’s cracking up about. But while this can be difficult, this is a GOOD thing! If you aren’t uncomfortable sometimes, you aren’t growing. Please don’t let that stop you- if you don’t make the effort to do something outside of your norm, you’ll be missing out on so much! Like Katelin said, join an organization that promotes diversity on campus, or go to Allies- that’s a great place to start building relationships. There are countless festivals, concerts, and events that the whole campus is invited to, such as Asian Fest, Culture Fest, the Umoja Gospel Choir Concert, Black Arts Fest, D-Squad, and Hillel Yom Kipur celebration, to name a few; bring a friend and enjoy the show!
    And on a side note, be careful about making generalizations about the “minority community.” Just as there isn’t one “majority community,” there are a host of different minority groups and communities on this campus. Which makes it all the more exciting to learn about all the amazing cultures we have on this campus!

  • Leigh Ann West

    I agree with Katelin and Claire. If you want more diversity in your group of friends, put yourself in different environments. Then you will meet new people.

    That being said, don’t choose the first student of color you see and decide to latch on. That would be tokenism, and, in my opinion, that’s worse.

    Having a standard social group can be comforting. But can you grow when the people surrounding you always agree?

    Maybe your circle of friends doesn’t always agree. Even so, why not refresh yourself with a new perspective? Class is not enough. The majority of life learning and growth happens in social settings.

    Challenge yourself. What’s the point of life if you aren’t constantly self-examining, seeing where you can improve and how you can become the person you want to be?

    College lends itself to extending beyond your bubble. You have a sample of people from different backgrounds squished together in a — sometimes uncomfortably — small space. While the close quarters can make it difficult to avoid that person from the weekend whom you would rather not see, it also creates a mini melting pot (or are we saying mosaic these days?) where you can meet a person of a different race, class, or region by literally knocking on the door next to you. How cool is it that we live with students who grew up in a country different from our own?!? Even cities are too stratified and large to consolidate like this.

    Conclusion: college is a rare and beautiful thing!

    Point: so take advantage of your four (possibly five, maybe even three!) years living with a conglomerate of young adults. We can all do a little more to reach out. As Dr. Hoyle said in his Last Lecture, “make a new friend.” It never hurt anyone to be friendly. And you’re never too old to meet someone new.

  • Leigh Ann West

    Thought I was done. But that’s a no-go.

    Megan: You are allowed to be intimidated by Ashley, as long as you are intimidated by her as a person, and not as a student of color. Saying that you should not be intimidated by her is the same as saying she shouldn’t feel invisible. But please don’t say someone is intimidating unless you know the person.

    Suggestions I brainstormed for breaking your bubble (no where near all-inclusive): Join the Ambassador’s Club to meet international students. Invite them home for Thanksgiving. Sign up for a group project with an international student or someone you don’t know. Have lunch with someone different everyday.

    Regarding social gatherings: I don’t think receiving invitations to parties is the problem. It is virtually impossible to get facebook events out to the entire campus. Rarely do people need invites to go to lodge or apartment parties, so no one should feel restricted from a multicultural event in the pier.

    But, because the majority of students who attend these parties are people of color, white students often “feel” uninvited. The thing is, virtually every lodge is like this for students of color – a sea of white. So it is up to someone to breach the divide. You could argue that more students of color should go to the lodges. BUT maybe it would be better to put the initiative on yourself rather than someone else. That creates action immediately and is far more productive than talking about it.

  • Alex

    In my opinion, articles like these do not help anything. Racism is still a reality in ALL parts of the world, but at the same time, so is reverse racism. The end result of persecution of a group of people for no reason whatsoever is bitterness and anger, in some cases even absolute hatred. I can completely understand that in some cases. That is never going to change because conflict is ultimately the result of differences and differences are natural.

    It is articles like these, however, which should they continue to be written, will only further prolong the divide between people of different races, different religions, different upbringings, etc…

    If you really want to unite the divide that exists, you need to look beyond the color of someone. The color of a persons skin does not dictate anything at all about who a person is or what they stand for. We have all struggled in some form or another; it doesn’t matter if you had a learning disability growing up or if you were poor and could not afford to go to a good school – we all struggle and one man’s struggle is no less significant than the next man’s.

    The article itself was awful but definitely sparked a worthwhile discussion. I don’t think it really suggested anything at all and it gave no reason to white students who hadn’t realized it before to actually go out and make an effort to change it. I want this divide to be mended, but with an article like this you are simply hurting the situation more than you are helping it.

  • Laura Schillinger

    I really don’t understand how this “further prolongs the divide”. All Ashley is trying to do is open people’s eyes to the fact that this is still a problem at Richmond. The fact that she feels invisible is not ok and we should all want to work to change that. Yes racism still exists, but then how can you say there is no point to writing this article? It exists and the only way to get past it is to continue the discussion and keep people aware of the fact that we do have students who feel marginalized and left out everyday. Yes we have all struggled, I agree with you on that, but as a white person, most of my struggles can be hidden when I want them to be. If you are a person of color you cannot hide that fact and you will face discrimination almost every single day in one form or another. You say that this article sparked a worthwhile discussion, so I’m failing to see how it is “awful”. Ashley’s whole point was to bring this problem to the attention of the campus community and start a discussion. I applaud her for putting herself out there and there was nothing awful about her article at all. It was spectacular.

  • Alex Vlasic

    Alex – It is true that race is not the defining characteristic of a person, but you cannot deny that it affects peoples’ lives daily. Ashley is simply sharing her experience as an African American at the University of Richmond in the hopes of spreading understanding. Her argument is valid and it isn’t “hurting the situation,” but rather spreading awareness and promoting conversation. It is unrealistic to think that race can go away and that all people can be easily unified when society consistently makes distinctions between people based on race, religion, nationality, gender, sexual orientation etc. I am not saying that these distinctions should be made. I am saying that these distinctions are made, which means that the experience of a minority on this campus or anywhere else in the United States is different from the experience of a white person. In order to “mend the divide” you first have to recognize that discrimination still exists, and then support those who are discriminated against work towards equality.

    Ashley – Thank you so much for writing this article! The issues of race should no longer be ignored on this campus, and I think that you’ve done a wonderful job of articulating your experiences and fostering conversation!

  • Emily Miller

    To Ashley–
    Thank you so much for crafting this articulate letter; I know that it took a good deal of courage to publish it on this campus. I think that you do a phenomenal job conveying the experience of a student of color at the University of Richmond. I really appreciate that you let us hear your story.

    To Alex–
    You use many absolutes in your article, and I would like to address some concerns that they raised in my reading of your letter. “Racism is still a reality in ALL parts of the world…” Since we have no way of knowing if a racism-free region of the world exists, it is worth noting that there are some rooms, some families, some friendships wherein racism does not exist. Why can’t U of R strive to be one of those areas? I agree with you that differences are natural, but I disagree that these differences are inherently linked to the persecution of a group of people. Why don’t we persecute some people for having blue eyes instead of brown? Why don’t we persecute people who have red hair instead of blonde or brown? We could pick an arbitrary means of distinguishing one person from the next, and we will find that we do not, in fact, discriminate based on difference. We discriminate based on certain differences, and race is one difference that has a historical significance in our nation. When you say, “[The persecution] is never going to change,” I have to respond that you are right; that is, if we allow it to. There are individuals on this campus, myself included, who are dedicated to working towards a campus that does not allow it.

    This article does not “further prolong the divide,” as you say. This article starts a conversation; it is a real description of how it feels to be a student of color on our campus. This perspective, I feel, is invaluable if we want to make our campus community a more inclusive place. Do you know what it feels like to be a member of a marginalized group on campus? Maybe you do. Do you know what it feels like to be unable to cover your membership in that marginalized group? By dismissing Ashley’s article, you are, in fact, contributing to the invisibility that she describes. I agree that we should aim to “look beyond the color of someone” as you mention, but we must remember that there is a stark distinction between looking beyond and looking through. One implies that we have already bridged the racial divide, the other implies that we have no interest in doing so. The former is a great goal, and the latter is quite dangerous. I would recommend that you add Ralph Ellison’s Invisible Man to your summer reading list if you wish to explore this issue further.

    I agree that all persons struggle, and although I am unwilling to rate one person’s struggle against another person’s, I think that we have to realize that each struggle is uniquely trying. Returning to the earlier point that one cannot hide his/her membership to a racial minority group, a student of color is often forced to face his/her struggle in the public and private sphere. People know it before you speak, and it is a struggle without a tangible end. Herein lies the difference between battling racism and battling a learning disability or economic disadvantage–we’re equating being a member of a racial minority group to social disadvantages that can, in some cases, be overcome.

    This article is not awful by any means. If any student on this campus feels marginalized or invisible, it is our duty as a campus community to work to change that.

  • Alex

    While I don’t agree with much of what was said in response to my comment, I respect all of your opinions. I apologize for the statements which may have seemed absolute, but I always get frustrated when I read articles like these because I have dealt with the double edged sword of racism for a large part of my life.

    I do not feel a need to help her or any person of color become “visible” simply because they are a different color than me, and before you bash that statement please hear me out:

    I do not believe in the thought of befriending someone simply because it might contribute to ending the racial divide that exists in many cultures throughout the world. If it helps, great, that’s pretty cool, but I am not that idealistic and I realize the impossibility of ending racial tension completely even on a campus as small as ours.

    I believe in befriending people who are good people. Some of my best friends are black and I look at them no differently than I do my best friends who are white. It is never awkward or intimidating when we hang out because we look at our friendship as just that – friendship. I love to meet people who I can learn new things from and who can learn new things from me. Whatever color a person is has ABSOLUTELY NO effect on whether or not I get to know them. The only determining factor is a mutual willingness to have a good time and disregard whatever immediate differences (i.e. color, religion, accent, etc…) might be apparent.

    We shouldn’t be reaching out, but instead we should look at each man or woman as a person rather than a personified stereotype. When I said articles like these hurt the situation more than they help them, I meant it. The main idea I took from this article was that white students should try and reach out to minority groups on this campus, but why should white students reach out simply because someone is a minority?

    I hope you all consider what I said and try to look at people as people. As Martin Luther King Jr. said, “The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers.”

  • Leigh Ann West

    Well said Emily!

    I just have one thing to add – it is easy to dismiss these feelings of invisibility when it is not your everyday reality. Being part of the white majority, I can understand how it might be frustrating to have these “divisions” brought to your attention. Usually we, as white students (maybe you are not a white student, but I will still speak about the experience of white privilege collectively), do not have to think about our race and how it affects our encounters on a daily basis. It is so easy for me to say, “Just don’t think about your race” or “If you don’t talk about it, it will go away.”

    But racial minorities are reminded of their skin-color everyday. YOU, as a white student, may feel fine if we never address the discrepancies in treatment that are instigated by race. This, however, is a selfish outlook from my perspective. While the racial majority can easily choose to live in ignorant bliss, racial minorities cannot avoid the invisibility and exclusion that directly result from the color of their skin.

    You say, “The color of a person’s skin does not dictate anything at all about who a person is or what they stand for.”

    I say – Color dictates experiences. Invisibility is an experience. And feeling invisible can very much affect what a person stands for.

    So while I applaud you for looking beyond race, it is also important that we don’t ignore race. Skin-color is a real part of every person’s experience, even if we would not like it to be so.

  • Lauren

    I agree with Megan wholeheartedly. First, I feel a bit insulted being told to “befriend a person of colour,” as if it was my choice not to. I befriend people that I like. If our personalities click, then I’ll work harder at the friendship. And in that philosophy I’ve made friends from all backgrounds and cultures, which has been amazing. But I also believe that the groups of minorities can be intimidating. Not that I’m “afraid” of them in the traditional sense, but I’m completely shut out from their group and they have no intention of letting me in.

    I don’t intended to place blame on a particular group for that intimidation, I see it from a cultural perspective. When I was abroad I had the amazing opportunity to make friends with one of the locals, and he is still today one of my best friends. but no matter how many times I met and spent time with his friends, they never let me in. He even acknowledged that by telling me “Its not common here for groups to let outsiders in.”

    If we want to make a change we should acknowledge that some people might not understand what they’re doing. Groups of internationals, minorities, and white students might not branch out because we don’t know how; we only know how to complain that no one else does. Generalizing the problem with “hey white kids: befriend a minority” won’t do anything.

  • Alex Vlasic

    Megan & Lauren – the point of this article is not to try to make friends with all minorities. Clearly, someone’s personality and not his/her race should be the basis for friendship. It seems to me that the point of Ashley’s article is to make students aware of her sense of invisibility as a minority so that this campus can become more accepting and comfortable for everyone.

  • Ashley Miles

    First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who responded to my article. Whether you agree or disagree with the content of my argument, this is a very important discussion and I’m glad that we’ve been able to engage in it. Please keep responding and talking about issues of difference because the only way we’ll reconcile racial strife and misunderstanding is to work through them together.

    Alex, Lauren and Megan–It’s very easy to disagree with an argument when you misrepresent it. In order to clear up any future confusion allow me to reiterate my goal for this article. The point of my article was to articulate my experience and feelings of invisibility on campus and provide a basic means for students to take steps toward making this university an inclusive community. In doing this, I assumed that the overwhelming majority of students at U of R do not intentionally try to invalidate the existence of their fellow students. Thus, in my article I offered what I see as the easiest and most effective of many possible solutions—making friends across lines of difference—as a way for all students to learn from one another and become more inclusive in their outlook. This solution was particular to our campus and can only work to the extent that students try and make it work. It was not meant to be generalized as a panacea for all of the world’s issues of racial contention. The article was not meant to haphazardly encourage ANY student to befriend ANY OTHER STUDENT on the basis of membership in a marginalized group. It was meant to encourage students to look for personally compatible friends within groups where they may not have looked before—and in so doing, each friend can learn from the other.

  • Shauna Myers :)

    Alex and Megan:

    It is indeed ironic that you both choose to remain unidentified (no last names) with such strong convictions- this more than anything speaks to just ‘open’ and ‘willing’ you truly are lol. Um.. YAH! I rarely comment on these articles, but I felt moved to respond after reading your comments simply because you’re both clearly taking the article out of perspective. Ashley challenged you as human beings who have the advantage of being in the majority group to meet new people.. THAT’S IT!!! No one is asking that you get a black friend, gay friend, asian friend or whatever.. get over yourselves- it’s not JUST about WHITE PEOPLE!!!! It’s hilarious that you are expressing that Ashley ought not express her feelings because white people’s feelings will get hurt.. LET THE WOMAN FEEL!!! lol If you don’t …it won’t be a new or revolutionary, it will be average, the norm, the place where blackface and black dolls hang during black history month.. and you will continue to be limited and ignorant.. more power to you! if your sorority or fraternity is diversity enough for you, by all means, that is your prerogative, but if you view University as a time and space of growth and learning, here’s a recommendation.. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.. IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU! As a Black Jamaican, I have friends from a myriad of places, races, sexual orientations, religions.. WHATEVER!! Works for me :) , so I do it! if it doesn’t work for you.. DON’T :)
    And please, don’t exacerbate the situation by telling Ashley she isn’t invisible, because she’s not your puppet. She is an individual with thoughts and feelings, and her own ability to analyze them, if anything, you further demonstrate her point by not allowing for a diversity of thought in the Collegian!!! LET THE WOMAN THINK!!!lol.
    Frankly, we should all have a cross-representation of friends, if we don’t we might want ask ourselves why we don’t? It’s a great way to live, but if it’s not your way, there is no need to discount the idea of living in a socially conscious manner altogether. If you don’t buy it, kool.. I’m just a happy Jamaican who sees where we could all benefit from coming off of the defensive.. and using thought instead.. THINK!

  • Taylor Hull

    Shauna, I’m a little confused.

    “…it will be average, the norm, the place where blackface and black dolls hang during black history month.”

    Maybe I am misinterpreting, but are you saying that these things are the norm at Richmond? Although yes, there have been multiple racially charged incidents here at UR, I would by no means call those things the norm. I think you will find a challenge in arguing that they are.

    Is your response not the most ironic of all, in that it:

    1) Tells Alex and Megan what they are trying to say and then tells them to “LET THE WOMAN THINK!!!lol.”

    2) Points out how closed and unwilling they are, yet makes a presumptuous accusation of ethnocentrism.

    No, it is not, “JUST about WHITE PEOPLE!!!!” I don’t think anyone who has commented here thinks it is “just about white people.” But by littering your well-intended response with borderline racial stereotypes, you are a detriment only to Ashley.

    I do very strongly agree, however, that “we could all benefit from coming off of the defensive.” Although the article has mostly been interpreted as a racial outreach, Shauna keenly points out that the most important thing is to look outside of the box, whether that box be white, black, blue, rich, poor, urban, country, etc.

    Great article, Ashley.

  • Tyler Hungerford

    Hey,

    I’m from California, and I have a lot of friends of different color back there and here. I find it hard for people not to have friends outside of the “white sector” here at the school since there are such a variety of people. America is, in fact, called the melting pot for a reason. What we really need to do is set aside this whole color thing and take a look at the people themselves! Why prejudge someone for something that they had NO CONTROL OVER! We have no right to do such a thing as human beings because if I remember right, all men were and are created equal in the sight of God and man.

    I agree with you Ashley that we don’t have enough “minorities” here at the school, but back where I live, I am a minority and am always more than willing to step out and find other people to hang out with. You can’t rely on the color of your skin to give you something in common, because that could be the only thing you do have in common. Everyone is different and has something to contribute to this world, and so since we are all different does that not make us all similar in a fashion?

    I guess I just don’t see why this should be a problem anymore, because its not a problem that is so prevalent back home. But since this is my home for the next three years, I think its time that I start to move towards making a change in my life. I think its time that we all move towards making a change for the better. So go out and meet new people out there, because you never know what you’ll have in common!