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10 more lodge themes

Published: February 12, 2009, 1:05 am ET
By Trey Murray

By Trey Murray
Richmond College ’08

Editor’s Note: The Collegian recognizes that this opinion submission may be offensive to some members of the Richmond community, but it does not necessarily reflect the views of The Collegian staff. The Collegian has not turned away any opinion submission since the hiring of the current staff last spring. This submission is part of a campus dialogue that began last week in response to an article, Straight out of Compton (Vol.2).

While reading last week’s Colleeg online (paper is for ninnies), I stumbled across a column discussing the 10 themes that the author thought the lodges should have. Apparently, one word used in that column generated a ton of self-righteous witch hunting in the comments section. I couldn’t help but partake. The people who were complaining seemed pretty arrogant and sounded like the type of people that smoke pipes and act like snobs about sushi. They did have one thing going for them, though: The column was offensive. Not for the reasons they listed, but because there are so many other great possibilities out there for lodge themes that were left off the list. So, I’ve decided to submit a list of my own (what would a Collegian be without some sort of list?) I have to give a shoutout to roommates past and present for help with this list, and here it is:

10. Jesuit Bros and Huguenot Hos.
9. Pigtails and Retainers. Good thing Chris Hansen is gone already.
8. Nickelodeon characters. Wait, what if I go as Skeeter? Is blueface acceptable?
7. Afros and Jewfros.
6. Put a breathalyzer at the door. Forget signing the list. If you can fail a sobriety test, you’re in.
5. If you’re not from America, Go Home Party. No commies, please. USA! USA!
4. Sweatpants and Viagra.
3. Non-alcoholic beer theme, just don’t tell anybody.
2. Lehman Bros and Goldman Sachs Hos. Just kidding, there wouldn’t be any women at Goldman Sachs.
1. Sunni Bros and Shiite Hos. I guess the Bias Response Team might take issue with that, but I’m pretty sure they don’t actually do anything or have any sort of real power. And hey, they’re on our payroll.

Does this list make me nothing more than some two-bit, second-rate, wannabe shock jock? Probably. But if any of this, or in the case of last week’s column, the word “povo,” really offends you, then your priorities are clearly not in order. After all, they’re just words.

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  • No

    ‘The Collegian has not turned away any opinion submission since the hiring of the current staff last spring.’

    Please reconsider the above stipulation.

  • Jackson

    Finally someone has the balls to make a joke despite how stuck-up and easily offended many people on this campus seem to be. Cheers to you sir, I LOLed!

  • Matthew

    “We reserve the right to remove comments that are tasteless, insensitive, irrelevant, use excessive inappropriate language…” So you would restrict my language on here if I wanted to go on a rant about the !$&% this person is spewing, but you don’t find jokes about pedophilia to be tasteless or insensitive to victims of sexual abuse? You have interesting standards of ethics and aesthetics.

  • Alex

    I think your theme No. 5 called If you’re not from America, Go Home Party. No commies, please. USA! USA! it is a racist comment, it’s like saying: “No blacks, only white people” or something like that. I think your comment is offensive to the international community in the campus.

  • Mark

    btw, it is not racist; it is xenophobic

  • Alvaro

    I agree. Remember, we do not have to confuse IGNORANCE with maliciousness.

  • Jime

    Regarding the theme #5, I would suggest this person to study abroad and be a little bit more open minded.

  • He won

    By responding in the manner you did, he can vindicate himself for writing this column. By simply saying sucked or was not good, or frankly, just ignoring it, than he has lost. But people got in a hizzy and flipped out, as expected. I am sure many laughed and I’m sure many got caught up in feelings of anger and hatred. Regardless, he elicited a response. What I’ve found to be true is that many people are just offended by a personalized comment, not the entirety. Besides, you would be self-righteous to assert that you are so perfect that you never made any jokes in relation to any of the above material.

  • Lauren

    I dont understand writing with the sole intent to hurt someone’s feelings. They my be ‘just’ words to you but what responsibility do you have to those people who will take ‘just’ words and use them to vidicate, defend and uphold beliefs and actions? Stereotypes are a two way street. People will use what you said to stereotype those you write about and you, yourself. I hope that you are alright with that. For example, when I read this article, I struggled not to think of the author as another Richmond student, arrogant about their majority status, who cares very little for others feelings. Sometime, I would love to know what it feels like to be stereotyped as a ‘shockjock’? I guess my final question is, ‘what should my priorities be’? What kind of stuff would you have me get angry (or, in the case of this article) disappointed about?

  • BigDeal

    While I don’t find this article particularly amusing, I have to defend the authors and the editors right to publish it. Just as the people on this discussion board have the right to voice the opinions and outrage at the article, the author has the right to say whatever he wants. As an international student, I’m somewhat surprised about all the fuss on number 5. Its funny and this is America: people can write or say whatever they want really unless its malicious. This is in no way malicious.. its meant to be funny. I know of lots of people back home who bash Americans daily in a lot worse ways. Big deal don’t worry about it. There are a lot of other things in this world worth arguing and taking a stand over.This article is not going to incite a riot, its not going to create racism that wasn’t already there. Perhaps people would stop writing articles such as these if they did not garner such a response, albeight negative. If no one paid attention, the writers would have nothing to look forward to.

  • woops

    Did you guys happen to take part in the ongoing campus dialgoue the Collegian editors seemed to be promoting here? WOOPS. You mean something good may have come out of this? WOOPS. You mean the editors were respectful enough to not inhibit an ongoing campus dialogue about what it means to be offended and what it means to be too sensitive? WOOPS. Their bad.
    Maybe you guys shouldn’t have ignored the line: “This submission is part of a campus dialogue that began last week in response to an article…”

  • oedipus

    Why didn’t he make fun of disable people, they’re funny too?